:: Dear Joan ::

:: Sunday, October 22, 2006 ::

Dear Joan,

Hellooooooooooooooo out there.

Um... Procrastinating. Yep. K bye. :O

:: 6:55 PM [+] ::


...

Dear Joan,

*breathes*

Mmmm. Yay new school year. I was hard core dreading this. But now that I am here, I am soooo happy. So far at least. The parents have commenced their return voyage. All my crap is stowed away. Well. Most of it. :D

I live in a nice little self contained bubble. I have the lofted bed with my desk and bitch-closet underneath it.

Summer was long. Doldrums long. I am not sure if I spelled that right. My spelling has taken a sharp dive. Anyways. I basically fermented over summer.

And I am in a super good mood now. YAY.

:: 6:29 PM [+] ::


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dear joan,

fuck this shit

:: 12:07 AM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

I'll never be what other people want of me. One thousand apologies.

I come home... and never come out of my room.

I like not having a roomate. I sleep in my underwear. And I like it. I also like my Dr Seuss boxers.

:: 2:17 AM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

I like to feel my ribs.

:: 12:09 AM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

Hmm. Tired. Stressed. Stuff.

:: 8:15 PM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

Coming home is mostly good. Going shopping with Renee for the first time in long enough to pop out a baby? OMFGFUNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!! Spent a shitload of money, but got some nice clothes... and by nice I just mean new?

I saw X3 tonight, and while not the best story ever... Its xmen, and I freakin love xmen. And the Angel. Guy. Is HAWT. And I guess this would be a good time to come out about my quiet wing obsession. YES!!!!!!!

Um... /lick.

:: 11:50 PM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

I am a hermit in my hermitage, hermiting away.

:: 8:59 PM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

I really need to write more papers NOT in-the-middle-of-the-night. Although I am working on detested philosophy I am truly enjoying the sensation of my brain working in a way that it hasn't in several months. My writing is returned to superior quality and I am loving the feeling of my mind ticking away to solve the problem of putting words together.

:: 8:14 PM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

Hmmm, greetings earthchildren. I, er, um, yeah. Let's see. I have no life. I reside in the grips of apathy. I only leave my room for class and sometimes food. Hopefully I can rehabilitate myself this summer.

Just lots of bleh. I really need a friend.

:: 10:33 PM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

I am a sickly wildebeast.

:: 10:23 PM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

Boomshakala. Its 6:18 and I just finished the essay I was writing for the last 3 hours and this is my 1000th post. Hellllllllls YEAH.

:: 6:19 AM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

Today I went to a "talk" about how Neil Gaiman's Sandman can teach us how to look at Ovid's Metamorphoses. I hoped to meet some kids who liked Neil Gaiman, and maybe learn something cool. Failure on both counts. I was THE ONLY undergrad there. As in, everyone else was a 35+ phd professor type.

The presentation was also boring. The funny thing though was that the presenter seemed to be a new professor in the classics department and this was his class-project-presentation-inaugeration thing. He was jumpy and nervous. This supports my hypothesis that middle school NEVER ENDS.

Ever.

So I just chilled with my classical mythology professor. Good times.

:: 8:44 PM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

Damn you, Bruce Springsteen and Stevie Wonder, taking Robert's grammys like that :(


Also... I need to sleep. And not run people thru zf til 4 am.

:: 11:59 AM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

Madame Bovary Edna Pontellier, c'est moi.

:: 12:04 AM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

Like a bullet to your brain.

Uhmm.... Don't have much to say. Tons of homework this quarter makes for a tired, stressed Jess. Sucky end-game WoW makes for a grumpy Jess. I don't want to quit though be.c it's all I have. Welcome back to middle school.

*sproing* ((roflmicahel))

:: 6:53 PM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

As previously titled.

Shower, we like our boys non-greasy
Deoderize, we like our boys non-stinky
Launder, we like our boys non-crusty
Engage and Share, we like our boys communicative
Stop Watching Pron, we like our boys non-perverted
Stop Singing Ass and Titties, we like our friends respectful
Stop obsessing over sex, I'll fucking kill you.

Stop drinking room temperature sparkling cider my roommate gave me and start watching Friends.

[[all of the above find their genesis in personal experience but dont be too hasty to assume that they pertain to one person or another]]

To make analyzing my literary works easier for you scholars, my motivation in this post was primarily hearing my WoW guildies bitch about not having a girlfriend. Usually in the same breath they will add something about "tapping that ass" or "getting some". Hmm. I wonder WHY you don't have a mindless loveslave who lives only to give you pleasure. And when the topic of female guildies comes up, the question is invariably posed, "Are they hawt?" You've backed yourselves into a corner, my sex starved friends. By only looking at pron on the internet due to crippling shyness or an incident with a mean girl way back in 5th grade you've narrowed your view of the fairer sex into beauty and abortive intercourse.

Way. to. Go.

Half of this is just an angry rant. I want to meld into androgeny, into apathy, into nothingness. No value, no purpose, no DNA.

:: 2:45 PM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

I wore a big shirt today. My room is a mess.

:: 3:04 AM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

Today's light reading requommendation: "Porphyria's Lover" by Robert Browning. A very, very delextible poem.

WoW Quontinues to quonsume my life. A habit likely in need of breaking.

And to be quontinued later:

The gamer boy's guide to getting a girl. by Jessixa M.

PS- For tonight's purposes, all C's were transmuted to X's or Qu's by a 300 Alchemist also known as TJS (Tired Jess Syndrome).

:: 2:49 AM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

How to make a Jess

Ingredients: 3 parts pride 1 part humour 1 part beauty

Method: Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of wisdom

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

HAHAAAAAAAAA. I don't know about the umbrella though. Or the shaking. Damnit I NEED TO GO TO BED!!!!!

:: 1:13 AM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

I am procrastinating going to sleep. I love sleeping.

?

Anyways. I viewed Brokeback Mountain with the hetero life mate Renee this cold winter's night. All buttsex aside, it was a very well done film, and very sad. On some level I understood Twister more than the fellow who's name starts with an E that I can't remember right now, even though most of the film was on E. It is horrible that people can be so afraid / threatened by anything different than themselves that they lash out in violence. :(

Women's studies may have had it's faults, but I am a much more aware human being that I was previously. The amount of racism/sexism/whathaveyou present today is depressing.

Thus far I have experienced a fairly relaxed Christmas vacation, in that I haven't done much. I should probably be taking advantage of the fact that my friends are all (pretty much) in the same town as I am and seeing them more to justify my loneliness at college. Speaking of which, my social life is in sore need of rehabilitation.

I am marginally lost at the moment, but I'll keep going through the motions.

:: 12:46 AM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

I got straight A's in college. XD

:: 12:18 AM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

If I were to have a mythical pet, my top choices would be Dragon, Griffin, Unicorn, Pegasus. But I think griffin might ultimately win out. Yes, dragons > all, but they are not snuggly like a griffin.

I've put alot of thought into this.

:: 12:18 AM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

Let me begin with "I love my cat". Thank you. Now, let me commence with OMG MAYBE MY GRADES ARE UP ((*GOES TO CHECK*))<--- you just witnessed a real-time revelation and subsequent pause in blogging, how do you feel?

And: This just in: (Double colon ftw): (TRIPLEOMG) Astronomy: A- // French and Francophone Novel: A

Ahahahah I do so love those sharp pointy A's. I also love the retards that drag down curves. (In the astronomy case, I was one of those. 61/100 *cof* Oh and thats a B-. ThankYOU curve!!)

Still waiting on women's studies. I guess they are studying my final like a woman.

Why do i heart the Soy? Because she is cute and sleeps on my foot and purrs. <3

Working at a shipping/packaging place the week before Christmas is insanity. Monday ... was beyond the definition of hectic. And. Yes.


Pride cometh before a fall. My mom was all ... So you didnt go see Kong and I was like no, i did not. And she was like Did everyone else go? and I was like no they didn't. And behold (no lo) like 5 people went haha. ANYWAYS.

I haven't played wow. Like. At all. COUGH. So. Bringing the beast home was significanly more negative than pointless. Maybe I'll do some hardcore playing when I am emancipated after this week. It's just that I derive more relaxation and enjoyment from reading in my brother's room or watching tv with my dad.

That and I've gone out every night but tonight with you slackers.

Woo social life. I need on of those at school. Badly.

Dew is so soft and furry ... I wish she was 10 times bigger and could kill things and be my riding saber. I also wish that I was a gnar Elven warrior who could kill things.

Yeah. Don't laugh. You've dreamed of worlds where you were primally powerful and could affect things substantially. Or at least experience a more corpereal existence.

And everyone thinks sharp metal objects are gnar.

:: 11:33 PM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

Well I've effectively wasted most of the day farming small eggs on WoW and watching Friends with my room mate. My packing is 2% complete. And I have a final tomorrow that I have not studied for in the slightest. I also need a shower and to use 15 meal swipes.

Whee.

I can't wait until I can come home and just be able to recuperate. Because frankly, I need that. *tired*

:: 7:02 PM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

What kind of looter am I? You decide!
You can also view a breakdown of results or put one of these on your own page!
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Hah. Rumandmonkey. What a laugh.

:: 12:05 PM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

So.... I just had a quasi break-down experience in the Hedrick dining hall. Back up like a quarter. Every so often when I'n with Sean I will, for some reason or another, start cracking up. (See: Vagenta Bra). Fast forward back to tonight. We (Jennifer, Marissa, Sean, I) were sitting around, joking a bit... and Jennifer got some ice cream. Supposedly soft serve. Well. Not this ice cream, as it "came out like poo" according to Jen. Whereupon we all had a chuckle and then became fixated watching her eat the "ass-cream". This of course progressed to Sean and I furtively chuckling about "Dropping the Kids off at the Pool".

Somewhere, amidst this maddness, I made the connection of "the chicken is in the pot" (cheesy spy / military lingo, plz leave a comment if you've heard this before to save my dignity. well. resurrect it) and "the kids are in the pool". Well then Sean immediatly bridged "the kids are in the pool" to "the chicken is in the pot" as another pooping euphamism.

Whereupon I started really cracking up. Like. Laughing so hard I cried. And I was actually on the verge of sobbing. And it weirded me out. Inside I was thinking, Ok Jess, That's Enough, Stop Laughing Now, Don't Start Crying, Why Are You Kind of Sobbing, Ummmm, Why Is Water Coming Out of Your Eyes, What's Going On and outside I guess I turned super red and I was like... cracking up???

I dunno Sean give your description here.

But anyways, it was weird because I barely stopped what seemed like it was about to become a huge break down or something. It's probably because I experienced a high bit of stress today, with writing my essay right before it had to be turned in (2:00) and then having a small tiff with Harrison later.

Which leads me to my next point. I used to be so chill. Like the chillest person in the world. (People might disagree here, be/c supposedly I am/was scary) I never got mad at anyone. When did I turn into such a petty beast. In my quest to become more "accessible" I feel like I've dumbed down and also become more irritable.

My cat seriously is me... Like she gets pissed at everything. But she expresses it physically since she has a brain the size of a walnut and thats all she can do. My brain is bigger than a walnut though. I think. HAR HAr HAR I don't actually get pissed at everything. But seriously when did I get so particular. But then I also feel like I don't care about anything. A paradox indeed.

So, back to the thing with Harrison, it was pretty stupid but like. The poor kid must live in fear of me. Of doing anything wrong. It's not fair.

:: 8:18 PM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

Because I am procrastinating. Here is a blog.

Yup. FUCKMYLIFE.

:: 11:30 PM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

You scored as James Bond, Agent 007. James Bond is MI6's best agent, a suave, sophisticated super spy with charm, cunning, and a license's to kill. He doesn't care about rules or regulations and somewhat amoral. He does care about saving humanity though, as well as the beautiful women who fill his world. Bond has expensive tastes, a wide knowledge of many subjects, and his usually armed with a clever gadget and an appropriate one-liner. James Bond, Agent 007 67% Batman, the Dark Knight 67% El Zorro 63% Lara Croft 54% The Terminator 50% Neo, the "One" 50% The Amazing Spider-Man 46% Maximus 46% Captain Jack Sparrow 46% Indiana Jones 46% William Wallace 46% Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com

So, I seem to have effectively stopped blogging with any appreciable frequency.

Let's add another sharp, pointy "A" to my college-paper grades collection. MMMCHA. In the correct major? What? This is also supported by the fact that I haven't missed a FFN class, but as of this morning, have ditched around 3 astronomy lectures and one midterm reveiw for that class. If the sun was the size of a grapefruit.... ?

Also: One quarter and 4 flights of stairs 2-3 times per day have rid me of my ass-fat dimples. I know you all were dying to hear that. But I just thought I would share. :)

This is a little premature... but since I doubt I'll do it later, here is my first quarter sum-up. I love my school. I feel that I am safe, that somewhere amid 35k students there are some that I could befriend, and that I will be able to have a good life following my time here. However, I also feel like I might be squandering some of my time here as well, by not taking advantage of alot of the things that are available to me. I haven't set foot in the library yet.

Um yeah so ive had this sitting in a window for 2 days so im just going to post it now lol (saturday 12:07am)

:: 1:01 PM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

You know you are uninspired when:

It takes you two hours to write a one hundred and fifty two word introductory paragrapgh.

You know your arguments are incredibly unsound when:

Their fallacies, weaknesses and counterarguments come to mind before you have even finished typing the sentence in which you are making your point.

You know you are tired when:

The backs of your eyeballs hurt.

.....

I really need to not procrastinate this much ever again. I used to have one really late essay / project night per year in high school. Maybe one per semester. Hopefully this is my one per year (quarter??) and I've gotten it out of the way.

In other news, Harrison sent me a super cool graphics modeling thing for WoW where one can put diff armor on their person and stuff. (Sorry for that sentence... but alot of my Englatory skills are exhausted right now)

Tomorrow: Get up at 658, throw clothes on, procure ham and cheese omlette, stagger to women's studies, turn in journal which was completed last night, possibly fall asleep, stagger back to dorm room at 10, sleep until 130, stagger to F&FN, turn in this essay, stagger back to dorm room, read chapter of astronomy, take astronomy quiz, SLEEP.

FOREVER.

(((I got my striped riding frostsaber today!!!!)))

:: 3:18 AM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

I guess the only thing better than waking up at 6:58am and finding out your 8am women's studies class is cancelled is finding out the night before and not waking up at 6:58am.

Seeing as I got a walloping 5.5 hours of sleep last night, I think I'm going back to bed now. Just a hunch.

:: 7:09 AM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

Dear Scarlet Monastery, im in your base. and im KILLING YOUR MANS!

... and by that I mean that I am at uci in harrison's dorm room after going to disneyland with lindsay and elliot. hopefully we can go to dland again with them / whoeever else wants to go again soon since we didnt get to spend much time with them since we got stuck in death traffic. *tear*

and because i was packing up all the laundry of my life.

yeah... lol.

and the best part of it all is that while Harrison was walking to my dorm after replenishing his metered parking, Sean saw him, snuck up on him and delivered a resounding "good game" ;)

uhm. Perhaps that is not the best part of all. but anyways. haha. I am going to go partake of the best part of all. *winkwink*

no, we are not making with the love. get your minds out of the gutters. or. condoms. or wherever they might happen to be. other than within your cranium. as that is their natural habitat.

signing off. MAHA.

:: 10:49 PM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

Scorp9896: so what are you doin
perileciel: feeling bad about myself.

Yeah that about sums it up.

I should maybe try to be a little less ugly at college.

(See new facebook pictures. I haven't taken them down yet.)

Only say that I look like that all the time at your peril.

Also. Im tired of my parents still trying to control me. Harrison and I could fuck while he's here during the day/night before he goes home. Its not like he has to sleep over for us to bang.

Not that we are.

But it's pissing me off that my parents are still laying on the guilt trip when I am like 73.75 (mapquest) miles away and presumably making my own decisions. That I fucking tell them anything is like... indicative of a good relationship. But that is going to deteriorate or they are going to have to suck it. Which do they prefer?

The only person who ever consistently 'got' my jokes is Heather Stephanie Howbert. And if you think you do, either my memory is impaired by my pessimism, or my memory is fucking fine and its more that I have stopped telling jokes be/c all they reap are bewildered/unfriendly looks. Like tonight, crisscut fries came up at dinner. I said, like the ones at Carl's Jr. This fact was confirmed, whereupon I stated that 10 women are sexually objectified to bring into existence one box of those fries. And everyone was like ... wtf?

Okay, and I don't even think that one is very obtuse.

The fact that Paris Hilton's Carl's Jr commercial was 'shocking' / out of the ordinary was also hotly contested.

Cake's cover of I Will Survive is shaweet.

I talk like an idiot. Has anyone else realized this? I say things like 'hot' or 'gnar' or 'sweet' or 'pimp' or any other number of stupid colloquialisms because I think that it will make me seem more accessible.

The story of my life has now become eating things that I shouldn't and then getting sick. Good times.

To all who were notified / concerned about the situation with my shower not draining: it was fixed last week. The cleaning staff called maintenance, it was so bad. If it clogs again... I'll start suggesting buzz cuts to my roommate. Our room is literally blanketed with hair. There is no vacuum for all of the dorms in my area.

I am really happy with my roommate, we get along great. This is also known as leading entirely separate lives and only talking to each other occasionally to bitch about people/parents or offer one another food.

For about an hour today, I was super happy. That was the hour after I received my first sharp, pointy A on a college paper. Fuckin' English major here I come. You know 'Body & Language', aka the worst prompt ever? I assassinated that motherfucker. WHACHAAAAAAA

The teacher was like, now I know a few of you... one or two... have ascended to the A status... but dont get complacent... and stop working. And I'm like YE-ah!

Bizatch.

^ Not in reference to my teacher. I like her. She is sprightly.

Disneyland tomorrow. Maybe I will sleep over at Harrison's and start my life.

:: 9:03 PM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

Hello friends.

Did you know that Kinko's can make color overhead transparencies? Neither did I.

Loving someone and being in love with someone are two entirely different things... that somehow manage to masquerade as each other from time to time. That is what I have learned in the past 2-3 weeks.

What pursuits are worthwhile, are not utterly futile?

I am disgusted with eating, disgusted with pleasure.

Indifference is King.

:: 4:05 PM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

i love my cat i love my cat i love my soy i love dewbabe i love my cat i love soy i love my cat i love dew i love roxy i love my cat i love my soy i love my babe i love my cat i love dew i love soybean i love little dew i love soy i love my cat i love little dew i love my cat i love my cat i love my soy i love dewbabe i love my cat i love soy i love my cat i love dew i love roxy i love my cat i love my soy i love my babe i love my cat i love dew i love soybean i love little dew i love soy i love my cat i love little dew i love my cat i love my cat i love my soy i love dewbabe i love my cat i love soy i love my cat i love dew i love roxy i love my cat i love my soy i love my babe i love my cat i love dew i love soybean i love little dew i love soy i love my cat i love little dew i love my cat i love my cat i love my soy i love dewbabe i love my cat i love soy i love my cat i love dew i love roxy i love my cat i love my soy i love my babe i love my cat i love dew i love soybean i love little dew i love soy i love my cat i love little dew i love my cat i love my cat i love my soy i love dewbabe i love my cat i love soy i love my cat i love dew i love roxy i love my cat i love my soy i love my babe i love my cat i love dew i love soybean i love little dew i love soy i love my cat i love little dew <3

:: 1:16 AM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

It is almost 1 in the fucking morning.

And I am pissed and close to tears.

Yaay for coming home.

:: 12:49 AM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

I am an idiot.

An idiot with lots of homework and fine collection of lint in the front of her Jack Purcells.

:: 4:41 PM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

Ohhh man. Well that was an exhausting football game. But we won. By the way, I am now (as of this fall) a huge Bruin football fan. Just thought I would get that out there.

It's good to be home this weekend. I might have my first real bout of homesickness when I go back. :( Which is poor timing since I have two papers due this week. Which leads me to another point, that being that I need to become more "studious". It's a differant mind set now though, as I don't really have a goal for it, other than staying in the honors program. In high school I knew that I had to get high grades because I had to get into a good college. Now, I don't have that kind of goal really, as I am not sure about graduate school anymore. Then there is always learning for personal growth reasons. But anyways, I need to stop feeling like I am wasting my life.

I have christened little dew my "baby bruin".

It was fun to go to the SCHS football game on friday and see everyone. I used to think that hs football was slow, but now it seems like it flies by since ucla games are all televised and so they take a MILLION breaks. Oh well.

:: 7:55 PM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

I just remembered what else I have been doing!

I went to the UCLA - CAL game on saturday. and holy crap did we win. I will never doubt my team again. Die sc die.

that was the most awsome football game ever.

:: 12:06 AM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

I swear. There is like. Nothing. That I can eat. Well, that is rather extreme. But there is alot of stuff that makes me sick as hell. And it's starting to annoy me. AGS.

I saw kisskissbangbang tonight, as another free movie screening courtesy of ASUCLA. :) Yay for being in LA at a huge school. I saw Domino last week.

KKBB is a very excellent movie, as evinced by the title. Domino is a very crappy movie, which belies what the previews would have you think. So, in summary, see kisskissbangbang and do not, under pain of death, see Domino.

Now, I'm going to lose the italics, since I am not even sure that that is the correct form for films and also be/c I am too lazy to keep typing in the html. The style of kisskiss was awsome. The style of domino tried to be, but failed horribly after the entire film continued in the same jerky fashion. All it has going for it is Kiera Knightly in hot pseudo lesbo fashions. And Choco.

I loved val kilmer in kisskiss. the whole movie was his. and i dont want to give away too much of the movie. be/c everyone should see it.

I dont know if any of you remember, or who even knew about it but around the time of the third lotr, i had a huge complex about fingers being chopped off. and its a good thing this movie didn't come out then.

What else have I been up to?

Uhm. Yeah. Class.

I am going home for this weekend :) shqueee... I get to see my kitty and my brother!!! (and parents but i've seen then 2x already since move in)

Anyways, goodnight.

:: 11:10 PM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

I said the week would go better. I guess it did?

It is 1:38am. I am awake. Obviously.

Tomorrow I am going to a football game. I do not think our team will win. But then what do I know about football and the respective teams? Not alot.

I am becoming enamoured of the activity that is typing.

I like being in control of what I eat. At home I always felt like I ate more than I wanted or needed. Whether through overt pressure or not. According to a movie I watched today, coke addicts are hot. Except when their (collective) arm is rotting off. And when they are whoring out for drugs.

I watched three movies today. And I find myself wanting to curse frequently. But that is not me. I have decided that my profanity of choice is "fucker". Not that you will ever hear me say it. It is what I mutter under my breath in moments of fusteration, anxiety or self loathing. No, in a social context I favor "hell" and occaisionally "shit".

I did manage to read one chapter of astronomy. That is my glorious achievement, on this self proclaimed day of homework. Saturday I will not accomplish crap because I will be attending the aformentioned American institution of a football game. As I am now on floor government, much of Sunday is also gone.

I am starting to notice a rash of, well, rash decisions. Firstly, I signed up for floor government. What the hell was I thinking? Why the fuck would I want to be on floor government? Maybe I will meet new people, strengthen my relationship with ones I have already met. Right.... Or I will waste time and be bored with the beaurocratic bullshit. I am co-editor of the floor newsletter. Maybe that will help me get a job someday.

My second hasty decision was to sign up for some water delivery thing. Now I have 3 huge fucking drums of water in my room, all be/c I wanted the option to have cases of water bottles delivered to my room. The sales guy said that there was no fee except for when i actually ordered something. And that I could cancel for no fee at all. But on the form that I signed ... when he handed my copy theres this list of all the fees ... but he crossed them out. So I'm like wtf. And my dad is going to think I am stupid or something.

Mer. Now it is 1 hour later than I planned on going to bed. I will look like happiness tomorrow!! Happiness!!!! <-- sarcasm

:: 1:37 AM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

Well since many of you have anguished along with me as I fermented in waitlist purgatory and selecting-a-new-class hell and because I am procrastinating reading 40 pages of astronomy, I shall reveal unto thee my new schedule.

Intro to Women's Studies- Feminist Perspectives on Women in Society

Astronomy- Nature of the Universe

French and Francophone Novels


MMMCHA. Things Are Going to Go Better This Week. I just need to stop wearing my lesbian earth women clothes. Yep. Definitely.

:: 5:28 PM [+] ::


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Dear Joan,

It is somewhat ... bleak ... to begin the chronicle of my experience of "higher education" with words tainted by a foul mood. But I am pretty pissed tonight.

Move in: (There is something poetic about a blinking cursor. But I am not a poet. Someone please inform me.) I'm here. Things are fine. It wasn't a hard transition at all.

I felt lonely after my parents left after their visit the following wednesday.

Westwood: A nice neighborhood. I love the westwood riteaid into eternity. I hate being sick outside the security of my own home. It peels back a thick level of security to leave nearly sheer vulnerability(v). Add to this two (v=2x) guys (f(g)=2g) who I barely know (f(g)=2g^i) one of whom I would like to be friends with (f(g)=r(2g^i)) and one whom I think is rather cute (f(g)=r(2g^i)^c).

I would not recommend correcting my mathematics.

The first days of school: Boring. Sucking of the hope and the life. My general education cluster ta was not encouraging. My astro 3 ta BARELY speaks english. Why the FUCK is my family paying 20k a year for me to struggle to understand a ta? I have not yet been to women's studies. I will drop it on monday night if I am not admitted.

I am waitlisted for ge clstr 60a.

The social life: I have met a few people, made a few tenuous extensions of the curling tendril of friendship ivy.

You do not appreciate what you have lost until it is well and truly gone.

The campus: To state the obvious, it's physical size is, well, large. It also reasonably attractive. There is, however, an unfortunately sizeable number of square feet blanketed in lush grass, which is dutifully mown seemingly daily. Wildfires yesterday caused the campus to be enveloped in pungent smoke.

I have been having trouble breathing today.


Many like to joke about internet journals being a place where there authors bitch and whine about their days. I bought Anansi Boys.

My MnM's will not last forever.


I need to invent my own "Penis Showing Game".

:: 8:26 PM [+] ::


...

Dear Joan,

Holy crap, what a night. :) More later.

((when I am not le tired))

:: 1:56 AM [+] ::


...

Dear Joan,

I am packing up my computer.

And slowly going insane.

Talk to you all in (probably) 24hrs.

:: 1:38 PM [+] ::


...

Dear Joan,

And now, for an update on Jess' relationship with 'pop' culture.

Things I am so freakishly excited for:

Corpse Bride- Comes out this weekend. No one to see it with yet. Sean?

MirrorMask- Limited release in theatres 9/30. No idea if locating the LA theatre is reasonably attainable for me. No one to see it with yet. Sean?

?? ((Landmark Nuart Theatre Los Angeles, CA)) ??

Anansi Boys- CAME OUT YESTERDAY HOLY SHIFCK! AND I DIDNT KNO!! Well... I knew it was coming out sometime around the time I move in.. But I wasn't following as raptly as I should have been. A thousand apologies, Mr Gaiman. My leige. Sir. Note to self: procure copy.

Neil Gaiman's Anasi Boys book signing tour- Don't know where these places are. No one to go with yet. Sean?

Saturday, October 1, 7:00 PM PDT
LOS ANGELES
Vroman’s
695 E. Colorado Blvd.
Pasadena, CA
626-449-5320

Sunday, October 2 2:00 PM PDT
LOS ANGELES
NEIL GAIMAN in conversation with Heidi McDonald
(2:00-2:45pm)
Book Signing afterwards at Golden Apple Comics booth (ticketed signing limited to 1 hour)
West Hollywood Book Festival -- West Hollywood Park
647 N. San Vicente Blvd. (across the street from the Pacific Design Center)
West Hollywood, CA
323-848-6515

http://www.weho.org/download/index.cfm?fuseaction=download&cid=3670


Things I am freakishly excited for, but don't happen for a while:

Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe- In theatres Decemeber 9th. Hopefully by then I will have other people to accost & drag to the movies with me, so poor Sean will not be subjected to all of my obsessions.

Underworld: Evolution- In theatres January 2006. OMG HAWT. Maybe Renee will be in town then. Or I will go and drool by my lonesome.

Other Stuff

I am still packing up my life, perhaps 43% complete. I actually have no idea how far along I am. I did succeed in installing the printer software and drivers, so that's something.

What am I going to put my clothes in???

:: 1:12 PM [+] ::


...

Dear Joan,

I, Jessica, have attended my first college football game. And UCLA won. :D Squee!

It was hot. And sweaty. And there were lots of shirtless males. And yes, I even saw some with the letters "U", "C", "L", and "A" painted on them.

I have also now come into possession of my "den" t shirt. Ehxcellent.

I must say that the student section is: spirited, profane, combative, regularly hostile to outsiders and occaisionally experiences conflict within.

The cheers of the day ranged from "fuck the rednecks/inbreds" to "bullshit" to "take off that re-ed shirt/hat" to the good old fashioned Bruin "8 clap".

I now have the 8 clap down, but am still mystified as to the pattern of the finger pointing during kick off.

Sadly, the UCLA band was sucking it up... they had like. 25 people there max. You'd think for the OK game they would have conscripted more people. The OK band had at least 2x that many, and sounded like it too.

In other news, my family completed the trek from Pasadena to campus in an effort to view a dorm room in de neve plaza once more, and as luck would have it (running into the RDA coming out of my hall as well as all of the rooms being open) we got to see my actual room. Ehxcellent.

Its small. And stuff.

Righto. Off to buy a desk drawer organizer and some shampoo.

:: 2:49 PM [+] ::


...

Dear Joan,

The posting has slowed to a murky trickle, yes I know.

The eagle has landed, I am now playing world of warcraft nightly on my brand spankin' new alienware computer. And it is tasty. Yes it is.

I had some trouble initially, getting the beast set up, since the moniter folk / alienware sent me the wrong kind of adapter to plug the moniter into the video card. Not only did they send me the wrong kind of adapter, but it was also a broken one. Soh. You can see why I would be having troubles. 3 days, 40$, 4 different computer store visits, 1 customer service call, 3 tech support calls, and an item return later, I have the correct adapter, which I will be able to return for my monies next week when the one Alienware is sending me gets here.

I have officially ceased to work at the UPS store and it is quite nice. I get lots of stuff done at home in the morning/afternoon and then I get to play WoW. Numnum.

On Sunday my mother and I went for a brief foray to the MissionViejo center of commerical and consumer pursuits, where we procured much color coordinating bedding / dorm swag. Yay for House Beautiful who makes things easy and has entire lines in pre coordinated shizat. I am now the proud owner of the soft-fuzziest blanket in the world. :D

My cat is adorable. And I love her.

:: 12:42 PM [+] ::


...

Dear Joan,

Wee-ll.. I just cleansed my bathroom of an evil that has plagued it for several weeks, namely, an ever growing pile of paraphenilia ranging from eyelash curlers to prescription dermatology products to my brothers frightening array of razors.

Now I converse with Seanislaus and contemplate my plans for a shower and world domination.

My computer shipped for real this time and will arrive on friday.

I went shopping with the "maternus maximus" as Michael would put it on friday and made several acquisitions in the name of university living. We procured some underbed storage units (*bows to the rubbermaid*), a recepticle in which to deposit rubbish, a bed lamp unit, a polar avian known as the penguin, some clothing for the aforementioned bed (in relation to the lamp), as well as several possibilities for a duvet cover. I shall post pictures in the soonafter so as to poll the general populace as to which is most serenely attractive.

Alas, I must leave you now, for il faut que je prenne une douche et que je donne manger a mon frere avant qu'il est trop tard.

:: 5:30 PM [+] ::


...

Dear Joan,

I guess Orientation is supposed to heighten the excitement and enthusiasm and anticipation of and for attending UCLA in the fall.*

But right now, I'm feeling pretty damn lonely. I miss my high school friends. Socializing in what is essentially a faux-casual interview situation, with hundreds of people is exhausting and isolating. At least it is/was for me. I dont feel like I really bonded with anyone. But then it was only 3 days long. There was one girl I might become closer friends with. And that's another thing. I'm not really used to having many female friends. So I don't really look at girls as potential friends. Which is sad. Since all the guys in college want is sex, and lots of it. Supposably.

I also seem to develop some degree of deafness when placed in the situation mentioned above. I just wouldn't be able to hear what people were saying to me. Maybe I should take sign language and start telling people I am deaf.


Anyways, I am quite tuckered out... sorry for the depressive post, I should probably have a more positive, hopeful one posted tomorrow when I am not as tired.

*(Don't misinterpret that statement, I'm pretty darn stoked about my college choice, except that maybe there's going to be too many partiers here... however, the only way I think I would get around that would be going to a podunk christian hole, and screw that)

In one small bit of happy news, my computer should arrive around tuesday.

:: 10:11 PM [+] ::


...

Dear Joan,

Well I am off to orientation tomorrow, I have missed my hoped for bedtime and am scared shitless.

In other news, I realised today I have been clinging (un)consciously to the past.

:: 10:34 PM [+] ::


...

Dear Joan,

Whoo for the Emperor attending UCLA orientation. Go late nights!

:: 12:13 AM [+] ::


...

Dear Joan,

Take note:

Dear Prudence,
How do you respond to someone (a total stranger) who, out of nowhere, tells you to smile—or remarks on the lack of a smile on your face? In the past month I've observed the following incidents. At the checkout line in my grocery store, there was a woman in front of me and a man in front of her. The man looked at the woman, who was not smiling, and said to her, "You must be having a bad day." She mumbled something in reply and gave an apologetic smile. After they left, I heard the two checkout clerks in the area speaking angrily to one another about what had just happened. One of them said indignantly, "What if her mother had just died?!" The other said, "I would have told him, 'My day was fine until you came along!' " And so on. In another instance, a young man next to me at a sandwich shop, while placing his order, said to the young girl behind the counter, "Smile!" She quickly looked down at her work, cringed, and said, "Oh, it's just been a long day, I guess." (That's the kind of response I probably would have made.) Then a few days ago, a male co-worker came into the office, annoyed, and said, "I hate it when people think I'm in a bad mood just because I'm not smiling. I'm not in a bad mood at all." Apparently someone (another total stranger) had said something to him while he was in the parking lot. When it's happened to me, I know I've felt offended. I don't want to be rude, but they're out of line, aren't they? I just would like to know how a person is supposed to respond to these people.

—Smiling When I Feel Like It

Dear Smile,
These commentators are strangers? What's up with that? Prudie thinks a proper response would be nonverbal communication. Something along the lines of knitting your eyebrows together, narrowing your eyes, and making the slightest sneer, all while cocking your head to a 45 degree angle.

—Prudie, huffily

Sometimes, oftentimes, it is very annoying when people tell me to smile.

My other peeve, which far transcends the above in its depth, is when people tell me I look tired. Do they think that I would be unaware if I were, in fact, actually tired, and that by them saying something, I will magically become aware of it with an, "Oh my, I hadn't realized just how tired I am. I shall return to my home immediately and go to sleep!" *simpers sarcastically*

:: 9:19 PM [+] ::


...

Dear Joan,

Some decisions are made, for better, or worse.

((I really hate that comic strip))

:: 1:35 AM [+] ::


...

Dear Joan,

Because the downstairs cpu is shat, so I can't leave an away message up, and I have to go work for 7 hours, this is my only way to leave a message.

March of the Penguins at 720 tonight at Kirkorian... MmmKAY?

:: 10:08 AM [+] ::


...

Dear Joan,

Jess had fun in Vegas, yes she did. :P





Muahahahahah!

:: 11:41 AM [+] ::


...

Dear Joan,

A great victory was achieved today. I found *both* Civilization II and Heroes of Might and Magic III. Most excellent.

Michael and I began a rousing game of civ, which continued for many hours this eve, but we saved to continue another day. But my civilization is rather pitiful and the Greeks keep demolishing Heliopolis.

Oh, and I ate alot of candy.

And met my new boss.

And saw Nick outside of Starbucks.

And saw Dave when I was driving home. And I didnt recognize him. And he waved at me. And I waved back before I knew who it was. Curses.

:: 11:42 PM [+] ::


...

Dear Joan,

Michael does "not particularly" have anything to say to you, world.

But anyways. I am back from LV, where the beer was cold and the girls were dirty... at least according to the sign for mud wrestling that we passed several times a day. An excellent time was had by all, due to late mornings and extended shopping excursions.

We plucked Michael on the way back home so now we have a Michigander under our roof again. We must get up to some mischeif. Indeed. What're we doingggggg, like tonight.

?

Ehmmm. I still haven't ordered my cpu. Poopies.


Yes, I said poopies.

:: 12:51 PM [+] ::


...

Dear Joan,

i r going to Las Vegas.

Yaay shopping.

I will be back on wednesday night, with a michael in tow. BWAHAHA let the social activities commence (somemore..)

:: 2:15 PM [+] ::


...

Dear Joan,

Augh Renee, your boyfriend friggen broke me with his whole dropping-the-gigantic-beach-ball-at-a-high-velocity-on-my-head-thus-causing-my-neck-to-compress-2-inches thing. :( :( Pain... *whines*

Anyways, tonight was pretty fun. I had the most fun playing mariokart.

I have left over pizza and sodas.

What's everyone doing tomorrow? Lol. It would have to be someone else's house though, I don't think I could swing a back-to-back at my house, especially since we're leaving sunday.

Yaay for going to bed and ordering my laptop tomorrow.

:: 12:54 AM [+] ::


...

Dear Joan,

Time for some lovely comic con pictures!




Here is 'arrison with "Shaun" (of the dead) *gasp*



Me with the WhiteNinja fellows :D

Thx to everyone who came over on... monday. T'was fun :)

Ay-and... I've been having a marvelous read of some L'Amour novels... I love a good western!

Mmm yes, I do believe I shall be procuring an IBM laptop for school and WoW purposes. As soon as I get that baby hooked up to the internet I'm going to play a good solid 5 hours of WoW. No. Maybe an entire day of WoW. Muahahahahaha.

Ahem.

I'm going to Las Vegas in a few days. Pray for my soul, as I will be in hell.

I am looking forward to the vacation, but c'mon, it's friggin' a million bazillion degrees there. Tomorrow is Bradley's 21st birthday, and while he is gambling and boozing, mother and I shall be, I daresay, shopping. My whole family is going to see the BlueMan Group. I'm sure it will be perfectly entertaining, but quite possibly rather weird, going with the parentals and all.

When we return on Wednesday, we shall have a Michael in tow. Ehhxcellent.

Orientation (and a shitload of new people) looms on the horizon. Omininity.

:: 7:43 PM [+] ::


...

Dear Joan,

I have a bitey bird on my lap.

Michael is coming back for a visit! Yaaay! :D



Tomorrow: My house, 7-12. Perhaps pizza if folk want it.

:: 10:14 PM [+] ::


...

Dear Joan,

Ahhhh... ComicCon SanDiego. Miam Miam.

Harrison picked me up at 715 (which turned into 730, be/c I am perpetually late) and we went to breakfast at the tasty Antoine's. We were on the road at 835, precisely within our time bracket of desired departure. Excellent.

We made it to San Diego without too much trouble, hit a bit of traffic, but nothing the little red button couldn't handle. Then, adventures in parking were followed by the old joining-the-sea-of-humanity routine. After circling the convention center, we eventually found where our barcodes (what do you mean you don't have a barcode?)were to be scanned. And then, yes then, we entered the mothership of comics and ginourmous boobies.

I spent lots of money. And I stalked the WhiteNinja and BOASAS folk. ((Muahaha Steven Cloud remembered me from last year!)) Despite the nervous looks in their eyes whenever I approached, I think they liked it. Be/c c'mon, how boring does it have to get for these guys at these things? And I bought things from them. And he drew me a unicorn. And a Kiwi. And a cat. And a Ninja. Muahaha. Hah. Mmhma.

((By stalked, I mean, of course, talked to twice, and begged pictures with once.))

Aaanddd. I purchased a buttload of Neils because there was a comic stand selling TPB's for 30% off. That is way cheaper than I would ever be able to get the Sandmans anywhere else, unless I performed the Edgar-esque alien stealing of Sean's skin and pretended to be him on one of the fabeled (and much envied) employee discount days at his place of work.

Harrison and I also attended the StarWars Spectacular panel in the cavernous Hall H. Sadly, they continue to deny that there will be any more films made. But they are making some animated 3D show that will come out in two years. In the meantime we are to content ourselves with 2 new console games and the CloneWars animated series on Cartoon Network. The bigwhig sound fellow from LucasArts was there, and as he is also the voice of Gen. Grevious, he brought his voice modifier with him and treated us to some live Gen. Grevious moments, including a rendition of "When You Wish Upon a Star", that ended in cancerous hacking and wheezing. :)

Afterwards, we made it safely back the the vehicle of transport with all of our loot, and proceded to extricate ourselves from the parking structure of DEATH. ((Thank you harrison for driving)) Then we went to great lengths to locate the Hard Rock Cafe, only to finally say EFF it, once our fears of 0 parking and hordes of people had been confirmed. We drove home to SC, witnessed some gimpy fireworks from LegoLand on the way, and visited Chris at BajaFresh and procured some foodables.

Following which, we collasped into the Ternasky spa, eventually roused ourselves and I was deposited at my place of residence. ZZ.zz.z.z.z

:) :) :)

:: 12:13 PM [+] ::


...

Dear Joan,

Surgeon General's Warning: Can be a selfish, elitist bitch.

:: 11:43 AM [+] ::


...

Dear Joan,

There is no more potent salve for the woman's psyche than listening to Christina Aguilara's Beautiful whilst savoring a frozen cheesecake morsel.

To be followed of course, by Dirrty.

I hate that I change my mind on a seemingly day to day basis. It's quite irritating. However, I am my own. I am my own. How liberating, those four words? Quite, quite liberating. So, regardless of anything residing in the past, actions, words, relationships, the only thing that matters, that I am sworn to, is myself. Right now.

Of course, those four words are a blatant lie.

It was a nice thought.

:: 6:56 PM [+] ::


...

Dear Joan,

BATMAN AND FEELIE THINGIES AND BATMAN HAHA!!!!!!!

:: 1:23 AM [+] ::


...

Dear Joan,

I stayed up until 3am last night reading for 4 1/2 hours a lovely fantasy book straight through, The Seer and the Sword. It's nothing mind blowing, but it has a decent plot that is straightforward while managing to be pretty complex... (think 3 kingdoms, +5 main characters). Anyways, it was enough to get me back in the game :)

Je voudrais lire le bon litterature. I hate that I can't remember fem/masc articles now.

A Very Long Engagement comes out on video this week. Je voudrais le voir. Effers.

And I am totally lusting after some more of Beagle's books (The Unicorn Sonata *cough*), I just need to roust myself from my laziness and order/procure them. (Anyone want to go on a field trip to B&N?)

I frickin' love unicorns. :D

I am waiting for my audiobook of The Last Unicorn to come to me in the mail, along with my LIMITED EDITION SEQUEL to the aforementioned. :D

Spectrum was alright on friday, Fantastic Four was alright. Much alrightness. Cheesecake Factoire afterwards was good, but should've been better but it was freakin 1 in the morning. Ohwells.

I had a delicious time playing WoW pretty much all day yesterday. Wootles.

And I have decided that I shall be procuring a laptop for university. Any rec's for brand? And don't you dare say Apple.

:: 2:58 PM [+] ::


...